My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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