I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
