I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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