Betty ford says i'm here all night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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