the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Everyone says I win the strip club
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
