I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
the raccoons are back...
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