i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my sisters under your porch take her home
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
