He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
