Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
