dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You are the jesus of drinking
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
