similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
