you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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