so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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