If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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