Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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