So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
