I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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