This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
