I faked an abortion last night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
