This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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