Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
