I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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