A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
