the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
