So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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