I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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