Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
