let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize