Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
