I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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