I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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