Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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