she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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