Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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