one two three fourrrrnication!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
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everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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