yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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