This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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