we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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