and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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