if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
