chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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