If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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