pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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