Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
