Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
