Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize