oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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