Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
