ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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