i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
