My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize