Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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