i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
