I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize