then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
