you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
