Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
