How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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