I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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