I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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