at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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