She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
