hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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