Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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